oldtobegin replied to your post: i get weirdly defensive and offended when people…
i get where you’re coming from, but most (decent) people who claim not to like things aren’t saying there aren’t extremely likable elements of such things. they’re just saying they don’t like things.
I agree!
that post was me responding more to someone who told me she didn’t like kanye west because he’s an asshole. and through the conversation it became clear that “he’s an asshole” was basically just shorthand for “i don’t want to engage with this because it’s not the kind of thing i think i would like and the things i don’t like are things that aren’t good”
which i think is an attitude that’s actually pretty prevalent about certain things even among decent, otherwise open-minded folks.
at least, i could, if pushed, probably produce the names of a hundred or more bands, tv shows, and books that i won’t actually put an effort into liking because i decided immediately i wouldn’t like it. That decision to not like something also for me turns into a decision that thing isn’t good a lot of times.
i have trouble balancing the understanding part of me that realizes people don’t like things for all kinds of different reasons (some of which are objectively “rational” or, perhaps more accurately, “able to be put into words” and some are more subjective, where some incident or personal enjoyment criteria or some pre-held attitude or whatever ruins enjoyment of things that other people can’t really understand. That’s fine! people make those judgments all the time!) and the completely non-understanding part of me that’s neurotic and obsessive and wants people to be able to not just understand why i find things valuable but also to identify with and enjoy those things on a level that makes them find them valuable too.
the second part is really why i use the term “weirdly” to describe my defensiveness because it’s pretty obnoxious to think that just because i like something that everyone else will like it too if they just give it enough time.
-
seymour-scagnetti liked this
-
absurdistaudio posted this
